All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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