Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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