The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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