Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
