I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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