Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
