I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
