he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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