RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
