Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
