He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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