This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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