I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
