I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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