there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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