just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
