She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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