absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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