Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
