You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
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and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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