I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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