this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
