I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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