i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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