Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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