kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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