some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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