Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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