Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
