nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
