Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
