I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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