How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am midnight drunk by noon
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I got inside last night via doggy door
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
