Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
