Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
