Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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