we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
