She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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