Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
