Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
