i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
