margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
