Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
