i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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