Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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