just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You don't make any sense
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