I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.