Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation

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  (828): so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation http://tfl.nu/xwig
  Replies (33) Good night (15136) Bad night (912)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.

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  (713): We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10. http://tfl.nu/4t0m
  Replies (16) Good night (5870) Bad night (950)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper

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  (225): i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/01yr
  Replies (16) Good night (4109) Bad night (1617)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.

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  (860): We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun. http://tfl.nu/8k8b
  Replies (20) Good night (2201) Bad night (2812)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.

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  (928): On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory. http://tfl.nu/gw1o
  Replies (3) Good night (3218) Bad night (1007)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.

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  (970): The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch. http://tfl.nu/vgkc
  Replies (5) Good night (1369) Bad night (665)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that

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  (630): Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that http://tfl.nu/h45m
  Replies (4) Good night (1764) Bad night (764)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.

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  (610): first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lsrh
  Replies (6) Good night (2585) Bad night (736)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.

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  (608): Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice. http://tfl.nu/it3i
  Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (1180)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.

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  (715): I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out. http://tfl.nu/zox5
  Replies (1) Good night (1084) Bad night (852)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying

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  (330): I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying http://tfl.nu/l6qe
  Replies (6) Good night (474) Bad night (814)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess

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  (773): How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess http://tfl.nu/u340
  Replies (7) Good night (515) Bad night (959)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  God I hope the sex was good.

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  (814): He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie. (1-814): God I hope the sex was good. http://tfl.nu/1yhc
  Replies (6) Good night (532) Bad night (1089)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program

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  (780): I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program http://tfl.nu/uwem
  Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (306)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.

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  (404): I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors. http://tfl.nu/geij
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (199)

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