Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i can't believe i had my finger in that

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  (330): i can't believe i had my finger in that http://tfl.nu/9wn3
  Replies (15) Good night (741) Bad night (4016)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...

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  (250): he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom... http://tfl.nu/aduc
  Replies (80) Good night (1148) Bad night (6540)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.

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  (410): just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks. http://tfl.nu/gf3t
  Replies (13) Good night (6290) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...

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  (215): It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away... http://tfl.nu/zf28
  Replies (10) Good night (3209) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.

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  (415): We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly. http://tfl.nu/2ljg
  Replies (11) Good night (1720) Bad night (2077)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting

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  (845): I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting http://tfl.nu/p4gt
  Replies (14) Good night (6698) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.

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  (717): reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control. http://tfl.nu/bdi5
  Replies (15) Good night (1239) Bad night (3974)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.

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  (615): We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers. http://tfl.nu/6a3z
  Replies (6) Good night (2266) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.

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  (717): So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter? (419): That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing. http://tfl.nu/cjzf
  Replies (1) Good night (1504) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.

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  (201): You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow. http://tfl.nu/omx3
  Replies (7) Good night (906) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.

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  (541): A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/awme
  Replies (2) Good night (1317) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

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  (203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744
  Replies (0) Good night (676) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"

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  (954): After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr" http://tfl.nu/5atv
  Replies (5) Good night (576) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?

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  (973): Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar? http://tfl.nu/k32t
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love

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  (727): Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love http://tfl.nu/6r91
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (255)

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