Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize