thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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