He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
