i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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