Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize