So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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