Farmville is her only friend.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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