wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
