I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
