why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
