Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
