Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
