his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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