so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
