Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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