Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
